


Running Alone

by The_Plaid_Slytherin



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-28
Updated: 2010-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-14 08:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/pseuds/The_Plaid_Slytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Christmas visit provides Jack with an unexpected opportunity to open up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Written for wendymr in the dwsanta 2010 Exchange. Thanks to book_wrom5 for the beta.

Rose was delighted to see a light snow was falling when they stepped out of the TARDIS.

"Oh, it's wonderful!" she exclaimed, holding her arms out like a child and sticking out her tongue to catch a snowflake. "It really is Christmas, isn't it?"

"I hope so," said the Doctor, closing the doors behind them, and putting his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. "Tried extra hard to be accurate this time." Even though Rose and Jack were dressed for the weather, the Doctor wore the same old things he always wore. Rose supposed he didn't get cold, though she did wonder why he was content with his "uniform."

"So," Jack started. "Are you sure you want me to come with?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Rose kissed him on the cheek. "Mum'll love you, I swear." She took him by the hand and led him out of the alleyway where they'd left the TARDIS. "I told her all about you, you know. I told her the Doctor and I had met this friend, and he was traveling with us now."

"Is that all you told her?" the Doctor asked, taking Rose's other hand.

Rose hesitated. She wasn't sure whether she should have told the Doctor and Jack right out that she hadn't told her mother the whole truth about their relationship. She didn't want to feel like she was lying, so she'd convinced herself she wasn't. It would require too much explanation, and there was _no_ way her mother would ever understand.

"I didn't tell her about… us," she admitted.

The Doctor looked at Jack over Rose's head. "Early twenty-first century, got that?"

Jack gave the Doctor a mock salute. "Yes, sir."

Despite her nerves about introducing Jack to her mother (and having the Doctor spend even more time with Jackie than he already had), she found her anticipation growing the closer she got to the Estate. Traveling throughout time and space was fun, but there really was no place like home. It seemed like it had been a long time, too. Rose found she noticed little things here and there that had changed—the chippy on the corner was looking a little tired, and that newsstand had a new man running it.

"You sure we haven't skipped too far ahead?" she asked the Doctor.

"Positive," he said sagely. "This is the closest Christmas to where I last picked you up."

"All right, then." Rose stopped at the base of the stairs and adjusted her scarf nervously.

"Come on," said Jack. "I can't wait to meet your mother."

The Doctor, thankfully, did not say anything about his previous experiences with Rose's mother.

"Right," she said, sticking her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "Let's go."

She debated letting herself in, but then, remembering that she wasn't expected, decided to knock instead.

Jackie opened the door and enveloped her into a bone-crushing hug. "Oh, Rose!" she exclaimed. "You really came!"

Rose laughed and hugged her mother back. "Of course I came. I said I would."

Jackie pulled back and regarded the Doctor over Rose's shoulder. "It wasn't you I was worried about. For all I know, he could aim for Christmas and dump you at Easter!"

"Now—" the Doctor began.

"In fifty years," finished Jackie.

The Doctor frowned. Jack laughed.

"Oh, you must be Jack!" she exclaimed, her attention drawn to him. "Rose said she was bringing someone else."

Jack beamed. "Captain Jack Harkness, at your service." He made a great show of bowing.

Jackie looked flattered. "It's nice to meet you, Captain."

Jack raised his eyes to her and winked. "I assure you, the pleasure's all mine."

"All right," said the Doctor. "That's enough."

Rose stifled a giggle at Jack's wounded expression. "I was just being polite."

The Doctor didn't say anything else, but Rose thought he looked rather jealous of Jack's "being polite" to someone other than himself or Rose.

"Come on in," said Jackie briskly. "Have you lot eaten yet? I know it doesn't keep normal time in that blue box, but you still have to eat. What about tea? I'll make shepherd's pie."

When Jackie turned her back, the Doctor grimaced, apparently remembering his last near-encounter with Rose's mother's cooking.

He mostly stayed quiet during the meal, but he did eat, for which Rose was grateful. Her mother seemed to be warming up to him somewhat, though Jack's presence did a lot to ease tensions.

"So, Captain," Jackie said to him after his third story, one that even the Doctor and Rose hadn't heard before, about facing off with a real, live fire-breathing dragon. "Haven't you got anyone to spend Christmas with?"

Jack's face clouded briefly and Rose suddenly wondered if he really would say anything. She'd always wondered about his life before he joined the TARDIS, and while she accepted him as he was with what he was comfortable sharing, she always got the distinct feeling that there was something he didn't want to say, perhaps for fear of upsetting her.

"They don't really have Christmas where I come from," said Jack, choosing his words carefully.

"Plus, with the TARDIS, it doesn't matter," the Doctor put in. "We could go anyplace anytime, whenever we wanted to." He smiled for the first time since they'd arrived at Jackie's, and Rose thought it was mostly for Jack. "If Jack ever wants to go home for the holidays, all he's got to do is pick a day."

"Right, I keep forgetting." Jackie shook her head. "I don't know how you keep track of time when it's all mixed up like that."

"Oh, it's easy," declared the Doctor, reaching for another helping of shepherd's pie to Rose's surprise. He tapped his temple. "It's all up here. Any planet, any calendar. TARDIS helps, too."

Jackie raised an eyebrow. "It does?"

"The TARDIS is alive," Rose told her. "Sort of. I think. Usually, she just picks the destinations. I don't really understand it."

"And yet, it can be a whole year off," Jackie said, with undisguised bitterness.

The Doctor looked up from his plate. "That was a rounding error."

"He can be pretty accurate when he wants to be," Jack added. "They had real good timing when they picked me up."

"It's all in the wrist," said the Doctor dismissively.

"Now, you'll stay a proper while, won't you?" said Jackie, beginning to clear the table. "I called everyone and told them Rose was coming home. They're all coming round tomorrow. That's Christmas," she added, in case Rose, Jack and the Doctor weren't aware of the exact day.

Rose sank down in her seat. "Mum, you didn't have to—" She wasn't really looking forward to explaining Jack and the Doctor to the entire extended family.

There was a knock on the door. "And that'll be Shireen and that lot," said Jackie. "I told them you were coming by now, and they insisted on taking you shopping."

Rose hesitated, glancing at the Doctor and Jack. She didn't really like the idea of leaving them, but she did want to see her friends.

"Go on," said the Doctor. "I promise I'll be good." He looked at Jack. "And so will he, if he knows what's good for him."

Jack grinned lasciviously. "Oh? And what are the consequences otherwise?"

The Doctor leaned in close. "You don't want to know."

Rose desperately hoped her mother couldn't hear that from the kitchen. "Okay," she said, getting up. "I won't be too long." She called good-bye to her mother and headed out.

**

Moments after Rose had gone, the Doctor excused himself, too, telling Jack and Jackie that he needed to see to something in the TARDIS. "Jack," he added, almost as an afterthought, "why don't you help Jackie clean up?"

Jack frowned at the Doctor's slipperiness—plus the smirk he flashed as he left the room—but he got up and began gathering the rest of the dishes from the table.

"Oh, you don't have to," said Jackie, taking the stack of plates from him. "You're a guest."

"No, I insist," said Jack. "Is there anything I can do to help for tomorrow?"

Jackie paused.

"I assure you, I'm a better cook than I look." He grinned. That did it.

"All right," she said. "You can help with some more baking."

Jack wasn't familiar with some of the things Jackie was planning to prepare, but following a recipe was easy enough. They worked in companionable silence and before long, the distinct smell of cinnamon and other spices permeated the air in the small kitchen.

"You said they haven't got Christmas where you come from," Jackie began. Jack tensed. "So you're not from America?"

"No," he said, intending to leave it at that.

"Are you an alien, too?" she prodded.

Jack cocked his head. "I suppose you could say that. I'm human, but I was born on a different planet."

If this surprised Jackie, she gave no indication of it. "What's it like, another planet?"

Jack hesitated. He hadn't even told the Doctor and Rose about his childhood—basically all he'd told them was that he'd been a Time Agent and was missing two years of memories.

"I was born in the fifty-first century," he said.

Jackie looked impressed. "So, I guess in your time they've got flying cars and such? Is it all _Jetsons_?"

Jack wasn't sure what that meant, so he ignored it. "Depends on where you are. Where I'm from, we didn't have much. There was technology, but everyday people, like my family didn't have much more access to it than you might have." He paused. "My family was just…"

He stopped, not wanting to say too much; however, Jackie looked interested. No one had ever looked interested in Boeshane before.

"Are you all right?" she asked him. She paused, studying him. "Do you need to talk?"

Jack hesitated. Finally, he said, "Sure. That sounds nice."

"Do you want a coffee?" she asked. "And I've got biscuits—they came from a package, but they're the kind with jam in the center. When Rose needed to talk, we always had coffee and biscuits."

He was surprised how quickly it all slipped out. It wasn't necessarily easy, but Jackie's sympathetic nods and occasional comments somehow kept him talking. Maybe it was because she was Rose's mum. Jack had never known anyone like Rose before, and her mother had that same way about her that made Rose so easy to open up and talk to.

He didn't tell her everything. At least some part of him was still conscious of the fact that he and Jackie had just met, and this was a _lot_ to be unloading on someone you'd just met.

He kept it simple then—he talked about his childhood, his home life, very basic things.

"We used to play ball all the time," he said. "Me and my dad and Grey. We could never afford to get to the city for a real, professional game, but still, I wanted to go pro when I grew up." He gave a snort of mirthless laughter into his coffee. "That didn't work out."

Jackie put a sympathetic hand on his arm. "What happened?" she asked gently.

Jack rubbed his nose hesitantly before continuing. "There was… a war. I lost them." He told an abbreviated story of the events of the horrible day, and when he'd finished, he realized this was the first time he'd told anyone what had happened in a very long time.

"I'm sorry," Jackie murmured.

Jack shrugged. "It was a long time ago now," he told her.

"Do Rose and the Doctor know about this?"

Jack hesitated. He knew Rose was concerned about what her mother thought, and he wondered whether Jackie would be worried if Rose was traveling with this man she didn't know anything about. Still, it was too late now. Plus, Jackie had gotten used to the Doctor; she could get used to Jack.

He took a deep breath. "No," he admitted quietly, looking down to examine the crumbs on his saucer. "I don't want them to be concerned."

"You can't keep running forever," Jackie said, shaking her head. "I've lived long enough to tell you that. Sooner or later, it'll catch up to you."

Jack sighed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, even to himself, he knew Jackie was right.

They heard a commotion from the entrance to the flat. Jackie stood up.

"Is that girl back already?" she wondered aloud.

Her question was answered when Rose came in, the Doctor at her heels. "Hullo!" she said brightly. "I've got something for everyone, but don't you peek until tomorrow."

Jack smiled, turning away from Jackie's admonishing gaze. "Oh, come on, Rosie, just a little hint?"

"Nope," she said, holding the shopping bag behind her back. Jack noticed the Doctor was carrying the rest of her packages; they must have met on the street. "We flit all over the place; it's never a proper date, but we're going to do proper Christmas on the proper date."

The Doctor grimaced from over her shoulder. Clearly, he would rather be back in the TARDIS, rather than "doing domestic," as he called it. Normally, Jack would agree with him, but he cast a glance behind him at Jackie. She smiled. Maybe domestic wasn't that bad.

And really, it wasn't. Domestic was nice.

The Doctor seemed to chafe under all the activity, and slipped out more times than Jack could count to get some air. Jack soaked it all up, though. He liked meeting Rose's extended family, but more than that, he liked watching her.

Seeing Rose interact with her family stirred something in Jack that had lain dormant for fair too long. He missed this. He missed having people he was close to, people he cared about. People who cared about him.

Even though she'd said as much the day before, Jack was still surprised that Rose had gotten him a present. Jack wasn't used to getting presents, couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten one that wasn't somewhat salacious in nature, or a bribe, or something like that. This was different, though. It was a handsome scarf, which Jack wound around his neck immediately, grinning proudly.

Rose looked equally pleased that he liked her present, and Jack began to feel bad he hadn't gotten her anything. As he watched Rose present the Doctor with a pair of earmuffs that he gamely put on for her benefit, Jack vowed that he would give her—and the Doctor—something later.

**

Later turned out to be in two days. Jackie had wanted them to stay for New Year's, but (mostly with the Doctor in mind) Rose told her that they really should get going.

"There's a whole universe out there, Mum!" she said. "And, plus, we could have New Year's any day we wanted to."

Jackie seemed to accept this—at least, she didn't offer any more protests, and she hugged all three of them good-bye, right in front of the TARDIS.

"Remember what I told you," she whispered in Jack's ear. "Does no good to keep running. It'll find you sooner or later."

Jack gave her a brief nod. He had already decided what he was going to do.

Once the Doctor had put the TARDIS in the Vortex, the Doctor asked Rose and Jack where they would like to go.

"Actually," said Rose, with perfect timing, "I'd like to hang around the TARDIS today. You know, I mean, we've been with Mum the past few days, so I know it sort of put a damper on…" She trailed off.

The Doctor nodded. "Too right. Bedroom, then?" He paused. "Or did anyone have any suggestions for a change of scenery."

"I'll never argue against a bedroom," said Jack. He paused. If he was going to do it, he should do it now. "But I was wondering if we could talk first. There's… something I'd like to tell you."

He had been working out how to say it for the past few days, but the way he told Jackie was probably the easiest, though he told the Doctor and Rose even more than he had told Mrs. Tyler, including halting details of that terrible day.

He skirted over his career as a Time Agent. It could wait for another day. The important thing was that his companions understood where he came from, understood what he had done.

When he finished, Rose's eyes were filling with tears, and though the Doctor remained impassive, it wasn't from disinterest.

He was the first to say, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Jack told him, just as he'd told Jackie. "It was a long time ago." The words came out automatically, and he didn't even stop to wonder at how true they really were.

"Oh, Jack," Rose murmured. She hugged him, tucking her chin against his shoulder in the way he'd always liked. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can't believe you kept it to yourself all this time, while I've been nattering away about… breaking nails and losing buttons."

He returned her embrace, stroking her hair. "It's okay, Rose," he said. "You didn't know."

She gave a small laugh. "I didn't know because you didn't tell me! If I had even suspected—"

"I didn't want to worry you," he said, raising his eyes to meet the Doctor's. " _Either_ of you. We have enough without me—"

"No," said Rose. "You've got to tell us these things." She sat back on the bed, taking both of Jack's hands.

"She's right, you know," said the Doctor, sitting on his other side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "We worry about you, me and Rose. You're part of our family."

Family.

Jack had never considered this possibility before. He loved being with the Doctor and Rose, loved them, even, but over the years, he had learned not to assume anything beyond that, and while he knew what the three of them had was not just about the sex, he hadn't considered the magnitude of it either.

"Exactly, Jack," Rose was saying. "You need to share these things with us."

Jack wasn't sure what to say. "I didn't think you'd understand," he mumbled, knowing this wasn't a good-enough answer.

Rose knew, too. "Jack Harkness, how could you think that?" she said, sounding exactly like her mother. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

Jack shrugged. "It's complicated."

"I thrive on complicated," the Doctor volunteered. "Right up my alley."

"See?" said Rose, leaning against Jack, resting her head against his chest.

"Yeah," he said, leaning down to kiss her hair. "I do."

"And you'll tell us more in the future?"

Jack laughed. "I tell you plenty."

"I don't mean just funny stories," she insisted. "I mean just like now. Your _life_ , Jack. The good parts and the bad parts. You're not just some… stray dog we've picked up. We want to know these things."

She might have aimed that last comment at the Doctor, but Jack couldn't be sure.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," the Doctor said, joining Jack and Rose's embrace.

"Thanks," said Jack. "It means a lot to me."

The Doctor turned Jack's head and kissed him, long and lingering, and Jack kissed back gratefully.

"You see now?" the Doctor said. " _You_ mean a lot to _us_."

Jack barely had time to react to this statement before Rose was kissing him, too, sliding closer to him, as the Doctor did the same on his other side.

"So," she said when they broke apart, "do you get it now?"

"Yeah," he said, grinning wolfishly. "I think I do."

"Good." Rose smirked. "Because I was serious when I said I wanted to spend some time alone with the two of you."

"Sounds good to you, Doc?" Jack asked.

He smiled. "Sounds fantastic."

At this point, the Doctor leaned in to kiss Rose, and Jack let go of his thoughts, focusing, instead, on watching the two of them. Jackie had been right. Confiding in her had been a weight off his shoulders, but confiding in the Doctor and Rose, that feeling of acceptance, had felt even better than what they were doing now did.

He was part of something now. Something lasting, something real. It felt odd, especially after having been on his own for so long. But it felt good. He could stop running, he thought. _Alone, anyway._ After all, the Doctor said they were always running. But running together—now, that was another thing entirely.


End file.
